Dear Friends

Freedom Through Limitations

Cross Roads, September 24, 1986

Dear Friends,

Among the many paradoxes that describe the truth about human beings is the curious reality that we are most free when we are limited. Gravity, for example, while narrowing the scope of our movements, provides us a secure arena in which to move, to walk, to dance. Language, although restricting the number and kind of sounds that one might use to communicate, gives us a means to articulate reality and to understand the perceptions of another. Through the limits that language imposes on us we can inquire, instruct, orate, muse, tell and hear stories.

What is true for us metaphysically, is also true for us relationally. That is, those relationships that involve our commitment (and therefore limit us) are the very ones that free us to lead full human lives. That is no less true for relationships that we are “born into,” e.g. with our family or with God, as it is for commitments that we choose, e.g. a friend, our spouse, or our parish.

Our temptation as human beings, especially when those commitments begin to feel heavy, is to think that we can be free without the obligations they bring. It can seem to us that the ideal life is one in which we are totally free to soar, to reach our full potential, unencumbered by obligations to others.

The truth is just the opposite. Without those commitments that limit us, that stretch us, that allow us (even demand us) to give, to create, to love, all our potential as human beings remains simply that.

Robert Frost said, “I would define freedom as being easy in your harness,” evoking echoes of Jesus’ words about his yoke being easy and his burden light. There is no life, at least no creative and generative life, without harness and yoke. That is what allows us to dance, to articulate life’s story, to love.

Faithfully,

Stephen