Youth Ministry: A Message to Parents
The Rev. Tambria E. Lee, Associate for Parish Ministry

Dear parents of those in the treacherous valley of adolescence,
Parents often call me and ask me to talk with their recalcitrant children and on occasion plead for them to come and live with me until adolescence is over! While I am often happy to be helpful, save for the living with me thing, I know this attitude issue is sometimes simply a necessary part of their development as independent children of God. I ran across this article in a youth ministry publication, Group Magazine, and wanted to share it with you. It helps to push us beyond the resistance to something a little more palpable. Keep trying, even if they are difficult.
Tammy

Beyond the Resistance
Getting involved with your teenager’s life can generate acts of resistance. But that resistance often carries a hidden message—a need or plea for love. Use the following suggestions adapted from Courageous Parenting by David Hutchins, to help you understand the truth behind your teenager’s defenses.

Teenagers are listening. Your kids may look like they’re not listening to you, but they can’t totally block out everything you’re saying.

Teenagers need love. Even when it seems as though your kids have on their full emotional armor, there’s usually a crack that will allow you to reach them. Keep trying!

Teenagers respond to respect. Forcing an issue can devalue teenagers’ decisions; learn to respect resistance to your involvement, even when you want otherwise.

Teenagers don’t respond well to anger. Express disappointment when your kids resist involvement—anger or despair can cause stronger resistance.

Teenagers expect you to give up. Don’t retreat—be persistent in asking for involvement in their lives.

Teenagers learn resistance. Be sure your kids’ reluctance and discomfort isn’t a reflection of your own relational style.