Reflecting with the Bishop on Morality and Sexuality

Dear Parishioners,

How should the Chapel of the Cross respond to the issues of the 2003 General Convention of the Episcopal Church of the United States?

Specifically, what is our response to the consecration as bishop of Gene Robinson, a gay priest in a committed relationship with his partner? And to the subsequent division over the issue within our denomination, our diocese and our parish?

Our parish has received some expressions of concern from members who disagreed with the actions of the national church. We also have heard many expressions of support for those actions and for Bishop Robinson's consecration.

The vestry discussed those issues briefly at our regular meeting in September. We decided that we'd like to devote more time to the matter and to invite Bishop Michael Curry, who supported Bishop Robinson's consecration, to meet with us. He was kind enough to join us for a special vestry meeting on Monday, October 27.

Bishop Curry first made the point that much went on at General Convention that did not draw the media's attention. Among the most significant was a decision to devote more attention to youth and young adult ministry and to channel $1 million in national church resources — much of which was shifted from other programs — to that ministry.

But he acknowledged that the debate over sexuality has been a draining and divisive one for the Anglican Communion, the national Episcopal Church, and the Diocese of North Carolina and its parishes. Within the diocese, he said, people are hurting on both sides of the issue, and he expressed particular concern for the priests in the diocese, who he said are “beat up and tired.” But he also felt that there is a “broad and generous middle” of Episcopalians in our diocese who are not polarized over the issue and want to maintain unity in the church. He expressed optimism that the Episcopal Church of the United States would avoid schism.

Bishop Curry personally has been the recipient of extensive input on the issue, much of it very critical, and he has worked tirelessly to be a pastoral bishop in this trying time — visiting churches throughout the diocese and listening to people's concerns. He related as one example his visit to two small churches over a recent weekend. At one, he encountered a succession of parishioners who were very unhappy over General Convention; at the other, the parish celebrated the approval of Bishop Robinson and was very affirming to Bishop Curry.

Let me try to summarize the comments from our vestry, as expressed at the meeting with Bishop Curry. There was concern, certainly, over the division within the national church and within our parish. There was sensitivity to the strong feelings of parishioners who disagree with the actions of the national church.

Some among us were genuinely puzzled that people can harbor such strong feelings over a matter such as sexual orientation, which is so private and so personal. We recognized that people at both extremes feel that they are “right” on this issue; that judgments about other people's values probably aren't helpful in this discussion; and that we're not likely to change strongly held opinions at either end of the spectrum.

We made analogies comparing the current debate over sexuality to that over race in previous times and concluded, perhaps optimistically, that we'll look back in 10 years and see this debate similarly as a relic of a bygone era.

We discussed whether we as a parish should provide more opportunity for engagement over the issue of human sexuality in particular and the division in the church in general. Some opportunity has been provided, in a parish forum last summer immediately after General Convention and in the current Christian ethics series on Monday evenings, which included a November 3 session on sexuality and gender. We as a vestry welcome your continuing input on this topic.

Perhaps most importantly, we recognized that, in the discussion about sexual orientation, we're talking not about stereotypes but about individual persons. Bishop Curry told us that he has known Gene Robinson since 1985 and described him as a talented, caring human being, “sinful like the rest of us,” who is a fine priest loved by the parishioners he served.

Bishop Curry closed with an anecdote about his daughter, who just turned 11. She wondered why so many people have been critical of her father, and he explained to her that people can honestly disagree. Then he told her, “All I want to do, Honey, is make our church a place where everyone can feel welcomed and loved.”

And he turned to us, the vestry: “Isn't that, when you come down to it, what this is all about?”

Ted Vaden