Chapel of the Cross, Chapel Hill, NC

Every year during the Annual Giving Campaign (formerly called the Every Member Canvass), my husband Stanley says, "Jackie, I think we should increase our pledge."

"Nope. Nope. No way. Expenses are up; we have kids in college. In fact, I've been thinking we need to decrease our pledge."

Stanley counters with a long list of the good works the church is involved in and concludes, "They say they really need it."

I respond that the church will always be involved in good works and they will always need more. Really, have you ever known a church to say "Give us less. We'll spend it frivolously."?

After about two days of intermittent discussions we reach a compromise. We have never decreased our pledge and we never increase it quite as much as Stanley had originally proposed.

Of course, both Stanley and I have good points, but we are missing the most important reason for giving. Families do indeed have to live within budgets, and a dose of reality is definitely in order when making any financial decision. On the other hand, there is an incredible need to serve our fellow man through the good works of the Church. None of us wishes to see Sunday School and Christian Education programs cut due to lack of funds. Who wishes to see us forgo visits to sick elderly parishioners due to lack of staff? A parish that does not continue to grow, be it in programs or in outreach, begins to stagnate and die.

None of these reasons, however, is the reason to give to the Church. The reason to give to the Church is a selfish one: do it for yourself. In order to be a full member of any group or organization, you must "buy in" mentally and physically. To feel like a full member of any family, you must be a contributing member. While this generally means monetary contributions, it also means giving of yourself. Students, for instance, are always short on cash, and most of what they have is being supplied by parents who are already contributing to their home parishes. Still, students have great talents, energy, and creativity and could and do donate time to assist with EYC (Episcopal Youth Community) or volunteer with Habitat for Humanity or other community needs. The elderly parishioner on Social Security who volunteers in the parish office during the week is making a valuable contribution to the life of the Church. She also feels very much a part of the Church as a result of her involvement. As a paying, contributing member, one no longer says of a problem, "Someone should do something!" Now it becomes, "We've got to do something!" The difference is subtle but powerful.

We all know that within a family every member needs to contribute to feel that he is a valued member of the group. Little children do 'chores' not so much to lessen the physical duties of their parents but to learn that they belong to a family, each one helping the other. So, too, we all belong to a church family. The principle is the same. You must be a contributing member in order to feel a fully enfranchised member of the family.

So this year when the pledge card comes, don't worry about the needs of the church or your fellow man. This year, be selfish: Do it for yourself.

Send items for inclusion in future "Cross Roads."
The deadline is the first Thursday of the preceeding month.