Evolution? Divine Design? I believe both

K.T. Vaughan, Health Affairs Librarian

"The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

Such diverse authors as George Orwell, Madeleine L'Engle, and Douglas Adams have used this quotation since Fitzgerald wrote it in the mid-thirties.It is an excellent descriptor, I think, of my life as a scholar and a Christian. I do not presume that I have a "first-rate intelligence" - at least, not today - but I do feel that as an active member of both the Church and the University bodies I am sometimes called to believe two apparently opposing ideas at once.

Take, for instance, the question of how people and other living things became what they are. In my work I use various principles of genetic evolution every day - using theories like natural selection and genetic drift to explain the genetic basis of disease. However, every Sunday I profess my faith using the Apostles' Creed - which includes the line, "I believe in one God, maker of heaven and earth." I believe both.

Scientific theories are not the only area where I feel pulled in two directions between my god and my employer.It seems that everywhere I turn I have two roles - as faculty but also sort of staff; as daughter but also mother; as rational being but also child of God. In the end, when I am in one sphere the other takes a supporting position - not visible to outsiders, perhaps, but very important to the way I perceive my purpose. While many people at the Health Sciences Library know that I sing in a church choir, not that many know which church. And how many of you reading this article recognize me from the Sr. Choir but had no idea that I am a faculty member at the University?

This sometimes brings me into opposition with colleagues who feel that one's religion must always be prominent. I had an odd conversation recently with a friend who explained that she told a supervisor that "It doesn't matter what our problems with each other professionally are - what matters is that we are both Christians and God wants us to treat each other with love." To be so bold in one's professional life as to profess one's faith - and to use it as a management tool - is totally foreign to my way of balancing God and job. While I agree with her statement, I would never have said it. I don't know if this is out of shyness, unwillingness to invade others' personal space, or a desire to keep my god to myself. While I am proud that I have inspired at least four adults to be either baptized or confirmed as Episcopalians, I am not looking to convert my coworkers - and neither am I trying to get the congregation to consider a career in library science. Perhaps, in the end, the reconciliation between the "opposing ideas" in my life is in how I live with them as a person. Both "ideas of K.T." - chorister and librarian - are essential to the complete me.

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